An action-packed night!

Why is it that when you are on holidays you never seem to get on top of the cleaning, washing and ironing? Maybe it is just me :). I seem to procrastinate so much on the holidays.

Well, tonight while T is at work, I am going to see how much I get done. I might check back here every few hours to keep myself honest with how many chores I get done.

Today was our 6 year anniversary - I have been obese for 5 years now...time to change that. What a way to spend my anniversary - cleaning!! :) I secretly LOVE it when my house is super clean though and it can be my anniversary present to my awesome husband.

I'm going to get there because I'm going to try again.

I did well before Christmas...I exercised, tracked and drank water. All of that showed on the scales on the Wednesday before Christmas too...93.3Kg (a total loss of 8.3Kg). I also felt fitter and thinner and I got to wear an outfit on Christmas day that I hadn't been able to wear for years.

But then, I let it all go over Christmas and the last few days - today I weighed myself (in clothes and after a meal) and I had put on something like 2.7Kg in four days!!

I know that tracking, drinking water, getting regular exercise and pushing the limits of exercise works. So, that is what I am going to do. I won't do it perfectly every day but I need to keep trying until I get there.

I don't know why I do this to myself but...If I lose 300 grams each week, I can lose 15.6Kg between now and this time next year.

If I lose 500 grams each week, I can get to goal by this time next year.

I want that, I want goal and I know how to do it I have to give it my all to do it and keep persevering.

I can, I can, I can, I will, I will, I will do this.

Am going to start when I wake up with a lovely glass of water, tracking, 2 hours of house cleaning and a walk before lunch.

Actually, I am going to go and set up my tracking diary now :).

MMMMMMMotivated!

Motivation is running hot!

About time I got back to this.

So far, I have lost 7.5Kg since an official start about October 2008. I am proud of my loss of 7.5Kg but I know I could have done better. I have read so many blogs of people who have managed to lose over their 30kg in the same amount of time. Reading their stories has given me a boost to be so committed. I want to lose my remaining 26Kg of not needed weight by September 2010. I know what I have to do so I am just going to do it. Do it with an attitude of keeping on improving.

I feel like I am going to have a good week this week because when I track and exercise I have big losses and this week (only one day in my weigh-in week so far) I have been tracking and exercising!

I am cleaning today - going crazy with it - being super OCD about it - am loving it and, to reward myself at the end of the day, I am going to put my Christmas tree up and wrap presents. Bit late with the tree but I haven't wanted to put it up until everything is super clean - gotta stop with that perfectionist mindset if I'm going to be successful at this weight loss hey!

Balance

It has been over a month since I have bothered to write anything but while I haven't been here, good things have been happening on the scales. Not great things...but good things...I have lost about 2kg since then.

I think I have finally managed to understand about BALANCE...working out the balance of what I put into my mouth. I should be exercising more though...this can be my new focus.

I've also been good (most of the time) at thinking...that sugary/fatty thing is just not worth it!

BODY STOCKTAKE

Despite my post earlier today about how pumped I am about being healthy and sticking to the plan, I feel like I failed this afternoon.

I was sticking to points and water so well and then T got fish and chips. No one forced me to eat it but I did and I felt (and still feel) so bad for it! Well, I should have just said that is a blip on my record, now get on with the healthiness. But, because I felt like a total stuff up and I am feeling so much the pressure of the wedding in November, I decided to eat heaps of chocolate biscuits. I am not sure of the points for the fish and chips - I am estimating 22 points for that and the chocolate biscuits came to 10 points - that makes me 32 points over my limit for today and today is the first day of my week!!

I am letting myself be defeated because I am concentrating too much on not being able to get to my goal. I am so stressed out about how I am going to look as a bridesmaid in November. I just keep thinking about how I am going to ruin the photographs because I am so big and haven't lost much weight. I need to take a reality check of this situation because feeling stressed and bad about myself for this wedding is only going to make the photographs look worse.

So my body stock-take is:

• I have been approximately 100Kg for the last 3 years I think. Bride has always been aware of what I look like and when she asked me to be her bridesmaid the last time she saw me, I was 100Kg. So, she wouldn't have asked me to be a bridesmaid if she was worried about how I look.

• Now when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I weighed approximately 100 Kg. If I had been perfect and lost 0.5 Kg every week since then, I could have been 86.5Kg by the wedding. If I had been perfect and lucky, I could have lost 1 Kg every week since then and could have been 73 Kg by the wedding. I guess, I could have also put on weight since then and been a lot heavier than I am now and I haven't - I have lost a total of 6.3Kg this year so that is a bonus!! Now, there are seven weeks until the wedding. I am capable of losing between 3.5Kg and 7 Kg in this time. If I lose 3.5Kg, I can be 91.8Kg by the wedding. If I lose 7Kg, I can be 88.3Kg. My goal is therefore to be somewhere close to 90Kg by the wedding and that will be a big achievement.

• It was suggested to me that to lose the weight for the wedding, that I should do a liquid diet or a lemon detox. But, I don't want to do that. I don't care enough to compromise my health and my long term healthiness to do one of those crash diets that would just make me miserable. I am sure that if I did a liquid diet and deal with my workload at work leading up the wedding, I would probably wind up in hospital for burn out around the wedding time anyway and I don't want that so that is out of the question.

• I have lost 6.3 Kg this year which is a big change for me. I have had a lot of people comment about how good I am looking and my clothes are fitting better. Jeans that I couldn't do up earlier in the year are baggy on me now!! So, if people are noticing me looking better from losing 6Kg, losing another 6-ish Kg is going to make me look even better - a nice bonus for the wedding hey!!

• Even though I am proud of my 6.3Kg weight loss this year, I haven't been following the program well. I haven't been exercising enough. I haven't been tracking well and I haven't been drinking enough water. It's time to get tough. I need to commit to a tough 7 week commitment plan. I will have blips in this time but I need to get back to the tough plan. The tough plan is at the bottom of this post.

• Another thing that I think is also defeating me is that when I am not at work, I spend a lot of time on this blog writing lists and dreaming etc which isn't actually helping me shift the weight at the end of the day. So I am going to limit myself to only going onto this blog every three days. The next time I come here will be Sunday. Instead of spending a heap of time on here and other useless websites, I should be planning meals, drinking water and moving more!

• This is another bad habit of mine but I want to do the whole amazing what-if thing - you see, I want to see what amazing goal might be able to be achieved if I stick to the tough plan to a tea for 7 weeks and if everything falls into place right for my body. I think it would be amazing to be able to lose 1.5Kg every week for 7 weeks. If that could happen, I could be 84.8Kg. I will be happy though to be as close as I can be to 90Kg.

So, what does the tough plan involve? Well, the tough plan is in reality not all that tough but it will be tough for me considering how I have been behaving lately.

THE TOUGH PLAN:

• In the next 7 weeks, I need to do 28 x 30 minute intense cardio sessions (like I used to do with the personal trainer). Below, I have 28 markers...these will change colour for every intense cardio session that I do...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everyday I MUST:

• Drink 2L of water everyday. The only other beverages that I will have are a maximum of 1 coffee and 1 cup of tea a day. No alcohol, juices, cordials etc will be drunk except for limited amounts at the 30th birthday party and the hens day.

• Do weights/stretches every night - a minimum of: 20 sit-ups, 20 side sit-ups, 20 leg raises, 20 squats and 20 arm exercises.

• I will track and balance my points each week. When I have a blip in the tracking, I will not make the blip a monsterous BLIP - i will get back on track straight away.

• I will get 6 hours of sleep each night.

Aim: to budge between 3.5Kg and 7Kg of fat in the next 7 weeks.

Weight up but motivation is running hot :)

Weigh-in this morning showed that I have gone up 0.8Kg.

But...

I am extremely motivated at the moment to do everything right this week and half a day into the week, I HAVE been doing everything right which is great for me!

So far, I have been tracking everything that I have been eating and, I have been keeping up my water intake. These two things are good achievements for me! The third thing that I need to do is to make sure I am getting my heart rate up each day this week. At the very least today I am going to do an exercise video. Building on the previous day's efforts is what my focus will be. So my goals for today are:

1. Stick to my 23 points
2. Drink all of my water
3. 20 min exercise DVD
4. 50 sit ups, 50 squats and arm weights
5. Day 3 goals of Change your ways in 30 days: write to-do-list; walk for 21 minutes; drink 2L water.

I feel like I want to scream!

So...aarrghhhhhhhhhh! I feel overwhelmed with everything that I have to do. But, I have come to realise that feeling overwhelmed doesn't help my situation - I just have to chip away at it. And, I am blessed with the life that I have and the opportunities that I have so I should stop complaining.

It is about 11.30 a.m. - I have a list of 20 tasks to do today - I have already completed 3 tasks.

I am determined to achieve the Change your ways in 30 days Challenge. Today is Day 2. So far, I have to:

* write a to-do list everyday and cross tasks off once they have been completed (that is easy!) - Done and the crossing off is happening

* get up 30 minutes earlier and walk 10 minutes away from home and 10 minutes back to home - was sick all through the night and this morning but will walk when I have completed some marking in about 2 hours.

1.30 p.m. - 4 of 20 tasks done.

I will achieve my goals, I will get things done, I will be under 90Kg by Christmas, I will stay within points, I will drink my water for health!

Change your ways in 30 days...

http://www.thehoneyline.com/videos/30-days-to-change-your-ways/day-1-30-days-to-change-your-ways

- write down my to-do list for today - as a task is completed, cross it off
- set my alarm to get up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow morning

My Extra Exercise List

Been doing some research for some extra exercises to spice things up a bit and to set some targets...

1. Get Sexy, Sculpted Arms for Summer
http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/gabbyguide/10429/get-sexy-sculpted-arms-for-summer/?page=2

Goal: do one set of 8-12 reps. 2, 3 or 4 times around the circuit.
Exercises:
1. Dip into a bridge
2. Bicep curl to shoulder press
3. Push ups
4. Standing squat dumbbell row
5. Dumbbell kickbacks
6. 21's
7. Dumbbell chest press
8. Bent over, rear delt flies

Determined

I am determined today to stick to my points, exercise and drink my water. I am a little over points at the moment to where I intended to be by 10 am but I have a plan to stay within points by the end of the day. I don't expect to lose weight this week (weigh day = Wednesday) but if I can stay within points today and tomorrow, it is going to give me a head start for next week.

I am picking up motivation from the Weight Watchers message boards. This is what other people have done to make them successful:

- get motivated by someone else and keep someone else motivated

- if you fall off, get straight back on

- losing weight isn't a choice - it has to be done

- the whole thing is a hobby not a chore

- personal training

- journal

- determination to get to goal

- wanting it

- take it day by day

- deal with emotional issues head on

- make myself accountable

- actually follow the program

- guilt has no place on the journey

- focus on what a healthier eater would do

- don't let the numbers get you down or hype you up

- staying to the point allowance


I have highlighted the tips above that resonate with me the most in bold.

In the middle of this post, I have just had an emotional phone call from my mother. I asked her a stupid question I guess. She caught up with someone we both know and I asked mum if that person had lost any weight because I knew that person was trying to lose weight. Mum didn't really answer my question but went on and on (in a glorified way) about three other people we know who are my age that have been losing heaps of weight by basically starving themselves. Then she pestered me about things that I should be doing in other areas of my life that I have already done but I have just done them in different ways to how she would have done them. This conversation made me want to run from the phone and cry. When I type out the issues here - they seem quite stupid really. If I was reading this from someone else, I probably would not be able to understand why they are upset. Yet, this sort of interaction with my mother upsets me. Now, to overcome these feelings, I am going to ignore her negativity, focus on my goals for today of staying to points, exercising and drinking water and getting some work done and the house tidy....and, breathe :).

I am going to get to goal eventually.

Doing that WHATIF?? thing again

This is such a habit of mine...working out the figures if I can lose x amount each weight. Well, as I wrote in my last post, when I have balanced points, exercised and drank my water in the past, I have lost 1 - 1.2kg a week.

I have worked out a 19point day tomorrow and am planning to stick to it. Right this minute, my motivation is running hot and I feel like I can maintain this level of motivation for the next 6 weeks until the wedding at least. By maintaining this motivation and sticking to my plan each day, I have perhaps the potential to lose about 1KG each week --> I could get to 89Kg by the wedding. This is a good target to have in mind - by any means I will be trying my hardest to get as close as I can to 90KG.

If I can achieve the above in 6 weeks and keep the motivation going, I can get to my wedding weight (83Kg) by Christmas. And, I could be at goal (68Kg) by EASTER!

I have the choice to do this. Today I am going to make that choice!

I HAVE been kidding myself!

Despite my PLAN to track everything and stay within points, I didn't last long. With the visitors and holiday fun, I decided to eat and track later. This resulted in disaster. I have just added up my points from yesterday - a total of 47 POINTS! I have just added up my points from this morning - a total of 27 POINTS ALREADY and it is only just after 9 am!

This is a good shock really.

I have been kidding myself.

I haven't wanted this as badly as I have been kidding myself because if I did, I would not be eating and disregarding points. I KNOW that points works - when I have tracked and balanced my points, drank water and exercised, I have lost 1 to 1.2 kilograms a week. I have seen other people in their blogs and on the weight watchers boards lose over 0.5kg each week because they track, exercise and drink their water. I want to be a healthy weight so badly. I need to be a healthy weight if I want to keep living. Balancing points is no great hardship - you still get to eat lovely food - you just have to be aware of what you are eating. I have to plan my food and balance my points for four weeks (really forever but 4 weeks is my starting goal) so that I can break the habit of gorging on point-laden foods. I feel like such a weight watchers poser. But that is no more!! I feel like I want to type "I hope I can track and balance my points" but I feel that I must actually commit to that - this is my deicison time NOW.

I realize that I have been kidding myself when I received a comment from Suz (Thanks Suz!). She said to aim for 400grams loss a week. And, that is so true! I have been aiming for a cruisy 300g a week because I haven't wanted to put in the hard work. I am lazy with this business. I need to shake myself up. When I have done everything right in a week, I have lost 1.2kg - it isn't rocket science - balancing points, water and exercise works. Fooling myself and only doing the exercise and not doing the points balancing is hit and miss.

At least I have learnt from this weekend that sausages and cake are so point laden and so not work it. I also realised that I thought freddo frogs were one point - they are actually two and not worth it unless I really need a chocolate fix.

Well, I am going to plan my food for tomorrow now so that I know what I should be eating.

0 water
1.5 Nutri-grain
1.5 skim milk
1.5 pce toast + vegemite
0.5 coffee + milk

1 banana
2 yoghurt
0 water

0 water
5 silverside salad
0 water

0 water
1 apple
1.5 cashews (7)
0 water
0.5 cofee + milk

0 water
3 steak
0 veges - greens
0 water

GYM - cardio session

BMI Time

I started doing some reading and research last night about fertility and obesity. This research has made it all the more clear to me how important it is for me to get to a healthy weight. It is weird that as I have actually lost a little bit of weight, I start to feel really good about myself and THINK that I am slimmer than I actually am. But, if I calculate my BMI, I am currently still OBESE and NEED to lose weight for my health.

I started at 101.6Kg with a BMI of 36.1 = VERY OBESE

Currently I am 94.5Kg with a BMI of 33.7 = OBESE
.
.
.
10.5Kg to go until I get to...

84Kg which will make my BMI 29.8 = OVERWEIGHT - celebration time!!
.
.
.
then, another 14Kg to go until I get to...

70Kg which will make my BMI 24.8 = HEALTHY WEIGHT RANGE - super celebration time!!

That is a total of 24.5Kg to shed until I am HEALTHY. I did have a total of 31.6Kg to lose at the beginning of this whole effort. But, I need to and must keep going. I know how to do it. If I keep going at my slow pace of on average 300grams a week, it should take me another 82 weeks.

Let the count down begin. Who knows if I am super good at tracking, drinking water and mixing up my exercise, it might even happen sooner.

So, my new little countdown is currently at: Week 1 of 82 to go.

Stayed the same!

Yay! I stayed the same this week - 94.5 - which is a good thing as I haven't been tracking as I should have. I wonder what magic I can work by tracking and balancing points every day over the coming week.

Am cleaning as parents are coming to stay and I still have to bake cupcakes and potato salad and clean the kitchen, clean the floors and make up the bed. Four hours until their arrival - I can do that! :)

Tracking can be done...

and that is my challenge for the next two weeks. I am a tragic tracker - I am not consistent enough. But, I do know that whenever I have tracked, I have had the biggest losses. So, starting from today, I am going to challenge myself to track well for the next two weeks. Starting this on the holidays should make it easier for me.

I have been doing the depressing holiday thing (I always get depressed at the beginning of the holidays) and by 11.00 a.m., I have managed to down my 23 points for the day already! But, if you are a tracker (which I am going to be for the next two weeks at least!) you can work it all out can't you?!! I have written down what I will eat for the rest of the day (water, water, water, fish, greens, piece of fruit) and if I also do: 1 hour extra cleaning, 20 minute walk and 20 minutes intense weights, I will be able to balance my points for today and have a 3 point buffer. So, that isn't so bad and by doing this tracking thing I have learned that I am not going to waste points before lunchtime tomorrow!

I also seem to spend a lot of time on my holidays doing the "I wonder what my weight will be by...". So I am going to indulge in what might be possible. I have learned that I tend to be able to lose 300 grams a week on average quite comfortably. So, by Christmas, I could be down to 90.3Kg and if I push a bit harder a few of those weeks, I am capable of getting to be under 90Kg by the end of the year. That would be FABULOUS! It would mean that in 2009, I would have lost 10Kg - great! That is definitely possible and I want to get there so badly so I am going to keep making good food choices. I am really proud of how I have been deciding not to indulge on certain treats and eating smaller portions. Now, I have to focus on tracking, upping the intake of water and upping the exercise. Is it too much to take on all of those three at once? I am on holidays. I really want to accomplish the tracking thing in the next two weeks. If I think of the beauty benefits of drinking water, I find it easier to drink it. At the moment, I know that a lack of regular exercise is holding me back. But, for now I will try and fit in a few more walks, incidental exercise at the beach with the visitors and a few more weights sessions.

Now, some more crystal ball gazing... If I can keep losing on average 300 grams a week, I can be 84Kg by my 30th Birthday; 75Kg by Christmas 2010; and, at goal by my 31st Birthday. Now, that is incentive to go and get walking each day!!

On a last note, remember that a snickers bar is 5.5 points - so not worth it for me at the moment!

You hear it...now do it

Hmmmm....so many thoughts going through this head of mine.

I guess the most powerful thought in there at the moment is the advice you often hear but you don't often follow through with - well I don't anyway. A beautiful lady at work is sadly struggling with her health and she said "please live every moment as your last". I heard it and yet, at the time, I barely had the time to give her any time to talk to her. I need to change that I think. I need to focus on doing my best with each task that I take on and choosing to be happy. I am in the end in control of my life. If I give my best and work hard, that is all anyone can ask - I am sick of the unrealistic expectations that other people put onto me. I often spend so much of my life worrying about what others think or that I am not measuring up to other people's expectations and I think that mindset just paralyzes me anyway.

Well, let's start today. Today I don't want to be "On the wire annie" - that is what T has been calling me lately - because I am always just getting everything done in the nick of time. My beautiful husband has been working so hard lately - it makes my heart ache for him the amount of hours he is doing to get us ahead. Well, I want to spring clean the house today and make him a beautiful dinner so that he can come home to a haven. Then, I am going to do some marking and email my students their results so that they will be happy. I also want to get some stress relief with my high intensity dance aerobics DVD - I haven't done that one in ages - am looking forward to it.

On the healthy eating topic, on the way home this morning I so wanted a jam doughnut. Then, I realised that I am GLAD (yes, glad) that I have 30Kg to lose because I think if I only had 5Kg to lose I would have stopped and gobbled a jam doughnut. I don't even know what it is with jam doughnuts at the moment but I seem to want one all the time. When I really think about it, it is more just the distraction or the habit that I want - I don't really want the taste of the doughnut. Anyway, I thought for so long about buying a doughnut but then I just came to the conclusion that I want to be the slimist that I can be for the wedding (which isn't that far away) and I also said to myself that the reality is that while I am 30Kg overweight, I can't be splurging on the odd jam doughnut. Jam doughnuts are not just a little treat - they are a huge, fat-laden points busting treat. So my winning self talk this morning was "Do everything that you can to be the slimist you can be for the wedding and you can save some treats for when you get to goal". Of course, when I actually get to goal, I will have to tackle the whole moderation thing to make sure I stay at goal. But at least I know I will get to goal.

At the party last night, I also was reminded of the fact that being happy is the best beauty product. It doens't matter if you are big, little, not coventionally beautiful or model beautiful, personality is the key so be free and enjoy each moment.

Life has been busy but I am finding this busy life is so rewarding and the business has been making it easier for me to trim down - I am no longer hiding away from the world.

Busy but loving life

I feel on top of the world at the moment; yet, my world is so hectic! I am so happy that I am following the Weight Watchers plan though because I think the principles of planning and making good choices is spreading to all areas of my life. I am just really happy at the moment and I'm gradually getting slimmer. YAY! I've also found that by throwing myself into my passions at work, it is making me heaps tired but I am getting so many rewards...better connections with other people and feeling like I am making a difference in the World (well my little part of it anyway).

In the past I have felt frustrated that I am losing weight so slowly compared to other people that I read about. However, I read an article recently that suggested that within 6 months, you should be losing no more than 10Kg to remain healthy. For some reason, I have seemed to just focus on trying to lose a whopping 30Kg in a year...just not possible for me and I don't think is healthy for many people. So, if I look at my year so far, just over 8 months have passed and I have lost 6.2 Kg. So I am under the 10Kg in 6 months BUT I have lost 6Kg in 8 months and I haven't been following the plan properly all year so I am pretty stoked. Now that I am less focused on losing 30Kg by the end of the year (which is impossible!) I seem to be making healthier choices easier. Putting less pressure on myself is making helping me to actually lose the weight. I haven't been really thinking about getting to that 68Kg goal. Instead I've been thinking "Awesome, I haven't been 95.4 Kg for ages...I don't feel like having dessert so why would I just because it is habit...I wonder how much weight I will shift this week...won't it be great to see a 94...something number on the scales next week!"

I am so much in achievement mode at the moment...Today I'm going to...

Do 1 hour of cleaning (8.30 - 9.30)
Do 2 hours of marking (9.30 - 11.30)
Go get the car tires checked out and get a gift & have a healthy lunch! (11.30 - 12.30)
Do 1 hour of cleaning (12.30 - 1.30)
Do 2 hours of marking (1.30 - 3.30)
Go for a walk (3.30 - 4.30)
Do 1 hour of cleaning (4.30 - 5.30)
Get dinner organised (5.30 - 6.30)
Go pick up the lovely one (6.30 - 7.30)
Enjoy dinner (7.30 - 8.30)
Do 2 hours of marking (8.30 - 10.30)
1 hour of ironing (10.30 - 11.30)
sleep!

Got to get it together

I sometimes think that I am better than being healthy...like that I don't have to be slim...I can eat whatever junk I want. Reality check has hit though (thank goodness). I need to be eating healthy for life. Exercise makes you live a better life too. I am also far too hard on myself too often. Anyway, as I said, lucky the reality check has come tonight and I haven't eaten my way to a place which makes life much harder for me than it already is. I have this idea in my head that I want to work really hard over the next two weeks so that I don't have to do so much work on the holidays. So, that means planning out my days, making sure exercise fits into the plan, making little and healthy food choices and drinking water! I think to make this happen I am also not going to have alcohol for a week. Off to plan my week then!

I'm going to get there

If you have a dream and you want something bad enough, you will put the focus and the effort in to get there. It may take a long time, but you will get there.

I have never been very sporty. I remember in primary school my fabulous teacher decided to get our class into skipping. On our first day he showed us how he could do a triple under jump. I wanted to do one of them so bad. I practiced every day and it didn't take too long before I was doing them myself. I became one of the best skippers in the class. I never thought that sport would be something that I would be good at - even though skipping probably isn't technically a sport! But, it just proves to me that I can achieve. Our bodies were designed to be function and fit. I just have to keep putting in the effort to get there.

Am currently 95.3 kg. Am not going to give up. And going to strive with each new day that I have to get to my dream ....................... 68 kg.

What I want

I want to fit into my blue skirt.
I want to fit my coats well.
I want to wear a nice swimsuit in summer.

Weight is slowly creeping back on.

Am back.

Am focused.

Am going to get to goal!

97Kg used to be impossible

I can remember ages ago thinking that getting down to 97Kg would be impossible - but I have managed that comfortably - took ages and then I lost it and then I had to get it back again but, I finally got there.

My new mental focus is knocking off 12.5Kg. It is possible to lose 12.5Kg by Christmas. I am not certain that I will get it done by Christmas but I am not going to stop until an additional 12.5Kg is gone. If I can lose 12.5KG by Christmas, that would mean I have lost 17Kg in 2009 - I would be so proud of that.

Anyway, my mind is fixated on 12.5KG and I'm not going to stop until I've budged that 12.5Kg even if it takes me way into 2010.

My hurdle

I am over running to the wire with everything. So, I have worked out my to-do-list for the term and nothing is going to budge me from getting done everything that I have set out for each week. I am not going to have a holiday and a week 1 like I have just had - it nearly killed me. Planning is also important to get the healthy food and exercise that I need so I am going to do that too.

If I can achieve this hurdle, and stick to my to-do-lists each week, I am going to reward myself with a $300 shopping splurge on the holidays. I will drop $100 off that splurge each week that I don't meet my set goals.

It's amazing what I am getting pleasure out of now

When I think back over my day, I look back most fondly on my session at the gym today. I never thought I would say that but I enjoyed pushing myself and the energy that it has given me since. I had the opportunity to get a chocolate bar on the way home tonight from dropping T at work but I drove straight past the shop - a big achievement for me! A good attempt at trying to break the habit...pat, pat, pat on the back :). I thought about it a lot on my 20 minute journey but I didn't give in and buy something that I don't need. When I got home, I also vacuumed, tidied the kitchen and tidied the laundry - I am amazed at how much pleasure that I got from getting these chores done instead of pigging-out on chocolate on the couch.

I have a lot of preparation to do before school tomorrow but after pushing myself through my gym session, I feel that a lot of things are achievable for me - I just have to put my mind to it.

Today T got on the scales and found that he has lost weight since last Wednesday. He hasn't been as committed as me to losing weight recently but he has started to pick up his act now. He put me to a challenge that whoever looses the most percentage each Wednesday has to do the washing up for the week. That is an awesome incentive for me because I tend to do most of the cleaning etc so I am keen to win to let him take that off my back. Even more reason to not give in to chocolate bars just because they are a bit of a habit.

I just spent 15 points on chocolate :(

I didn't REALLY enjoy it either.

Today I had planned to get up early and get into all the things I have planned to do today but I was sick all through the night and had a sleep-in instead. When I eventually did get up, I reached for the only bad thing (well the only bad thing that I am aware of) in the house - choc bits. I ended up eating 15 points worth - so not satisfying but I "thought" they were enjoyable because of habit. I said to myself "well, I have stuffed up my points from the last couple of days anyway so let's not track anymore this week". WAKE UP STUPID (I am talking to myself here). If I'm going to do that, I might as well wait until next year to start getting healthy or perhaps I could wait another 20 years before I start getting healthy - that would be crazy! So, I have written down what I have eaten today - just (hmm, bad choice of word) the chocolate and a lean cuisine. Am up to 19.5 points already. I will blow out today but I am LEARNING. I know that if I want to lose weight, I must keep to my points allocation. Balancing my points in a week is something I have NEVER done - it is a MAJOR challenge for me. A challenge that I am going to keep working at until I achieve it. I have a reward for when that day comes too. If I gave in and stopped counting my points for the rest of the days in this week, I would just end up reinforcing bad habits. By tracking, I also now know that 15 points spent on chocolate bits is SO NOT WORTH IT.

I am not going to allow myself to defeat myself. I'm not even sure if that last sentence makes sense but I feel in my heart that I often make a stuff up and then I throw in the towel with living...my perfectionism problem :(. I would never achieve anything though if I continue to do this though. When I am in the midst of my gym program, which I am in the process of getting back into (have sore arms to prove it at the moment), I tend to see every task as I am doing as a fresh start and I give it my all and ignore all of the other junk in my head. It comes from having to, for example, do dumbbell fliers with 4KG weights. To do the exercise effectively, I have to focus on the task at hand. I need this mantra back in my life - give every task your all! I am so good at waisting the day away. I have 17 things on my to do list for today. So far, at 12.30 p.m., I have done only one of those things on my list. I could spend the rest of the day on the couch in my defeatist state. Or, I can take each task on my list, give each task my all and see how far I get. I know I won't probably get all 17 items done but I reckon I can get half way through my list which is better than nothing.

I don't like to cheat on the scales but I had a look when I got up this morning just to see what was happening (I wonder what I would have done if it had gone up!). Anyway, it went down...down by 1.6Kg from my Wednesday Weigh-In. I was 96.6Kg - my 5Kg lost goal! I know not to take this as my weight though because weight fluctuates throughout the week but it got me focused on where I want to be. I have been reading a lot of blogs and I see a lot of people writing about their 5% goal, their 10% goal etc and while I have recently written about how I don't tend to get motivated by a number on the scale, for some reason today I want to know what my % goals are - even though I have done a thousand excel spreadsheets with these kind of goals in them before. Here are my self-indulgent percentage calculations:

Starting Weight: 101.6KG (31/12/08)
Official Current Weight: 98.2KG (08/07/09) -3.4Kg
Unofficial Current Weight: 96.6KG (11/07/09) -5.0Kg (Woo hoo!)

Percentage Goals plus other Goal Posts:
5%: 96.5Kg (Wow, I am almost there!) (unofficially, 0.1Kg to go)
10Kg loss: 91.6Kg (6.6Kg to go) (unofficially, 5Kg to go)
10%: 91.4Kg (6.8Kg to go) (unofficially, 5.2Kg to go)
15Kg loss: 86.6Kg (11.6Kg to go) (unofficially, 10Kg to go)
20Kg loss: 81.6Kg (16.6Kg to go) (unofficially, 15Kg to go)
20% loss: 81.3Kg (16.9Kg to go) (unofficially, 15.3Kg to go)
30Kg loss: 71.6Kg (26.6Kg to go) (unofficially, 25Kg to go)
30% loss: 71.1Kg (27.1Kg to go) (unofficially, 25.5Kg to go)

Now, enough time wasting...time to go and get some things done...even some exercise!!

So much enthusiasm...wish I could bottle it...can't so am blogging it!

I have so much motivation right now. I know that this will wain in the weeks or even days to come so I am going to blog my motivating thoughts right now so that I can read back over them when that time comes. I also have so much that I want to tap out on here to get out of my head - lot's of it useless natter - but I know that when I get back to work I won't get as much time to blog so I am going to type till my heart's content today. Hence, I am putting today's entry under headings.

What's giving me the drive to stay on track right now?

* I know that I can't keep getting bigger.
* I know that by eating less, making healthier choices, drinking lots more water and exercising more will have to shift some weight off my body and will make me healthier.
* I can't bear to keep adding an extra 10Kg to my body each few years.
* I need to give my body and my husband the opportunity to have a healthy baby.

Something that I read today that triggers the brain...

What goes up must come down. :) :) :) My weight has shot up but it is going to go down!

Breaking that dreaded afternoon snack attack habit.

I, like many people, have difficulty not falling into a binge session about 3-ish to 5-ish in the afternoon. I found myself on the way home today thinking about how lovely it would be to relax in front of the telly with some salty biscuits or even some pods this afternoon. I was looking forward to the taste and the filling power of those foods that I have so often allowed myself to hog into. I have just decided though that I think it is momre of a habit though to eat in this way. Instead, I want to think about what I am going to have for dinner and get excited about that. To fill me up until dinner, I am going to have some fruit - got some beautiful strawberries today. Instead of putting so much brain power into thinking how delightful that salty pieces of "cardboard" or sugary pieces of "cardboard" are, I am going to think about how delightful dinner will be. I am going to see how this will work for me in the coming weeks. Not sure what I am going to cook for dinner yet though.

I love it that my arms are sore - exercise is awesome.

I am loving feeling the pain from my weights session last night. I'm so glad we are back into the swing of our gym sessions. We may miss our intense cardio session which we should be doing tonight as T is working until late. I am going to go for my favourite walk this afternoon and drop the DVD back on the way. I also want to do my two 10 minute intense workout DVDs this afternoon too. I was going to wait until T gets home to do the DVDs together but in case he is too tired to do them when he gets home, I am going to try and fit them in before I have to pick him up. If he decides he wants to do the exercise DVDs when he gets home, well that can just be a bonus for me and I can do them again.

Can't wait to reward myself.

I have written many lists in the past about what my rewars will be when I get to certain points along the way on my weight loss path. However, I think I have "Weight-Loss Reward ADHD" because I keep changing my mind as to wait I want and I don't really respond well to working hard to get a certain number on the scales. Instead, I think I need to reward my better habits instead of numbers on the scales. I was at the shops today and thought I would buy a new outfit for work but I decided I have lots of lovely things to wear at the moment and I need to do something before I spoil myself. I have decided to write a Good Girl Gift List - where I am just going to focus on some immediate achievements that I am capable of making.

Good Girl Gift List

Habits/Actions
* Balancing weekly points for one week
* Drinking 2L of water every day for one week
* No take-aways/food out for 3 weeks
* Eating homemade lunch every day at work for 2 weeks
* Sticking to our gym sessions for 5 weeks up till our Darwin holiday

Gift Selections
* DVD hire - my pick
* New CD
* Cook a batch of paddy cakes - make sure that I share them!
* Magazine
* Lotto ticket
* Hair Straightner
* $200 shopping

Planned progress

I can't make massive changes over night. I plan to improve my lifestyle gradually in the following ways. Once I have achieved one level, I can progress to the next challenge.

• Balance points for 1 week
  
• --> Balance points for 1 week + ensure enough dairy is included
  
• --> Balance points for 1 week + ensure enough dairy is included + ensure enough veges are included
  
• --> Balance points for 1 week + ensure enough dairy is included + ensure enough veges are included + ensure enough fruit is included
  
• --> Balance points for 1 week + ensure enough dairy is included + ensure enough veges are included + ensure enough fruit is included + review times of day that meals are consumed

• Drink 2L of water each day for 1 week
• --> Drink 2L or water each day for 1 week + substitute half of coffees with tea and no sugar
• --> Drink 2L or water each day for 1 week + substitute half of coffees with tea and no sugar + cut sugar from coffees

Enjoying Life

I have been more focused in the last week on getting the most out of each day and finding enjoyment in life's pleasures. In the rest of my Weight Watchers week this week, I am looking forward to:
Tomorrow: Walking on the beach and getting the sand between my toes.
Sunday: Dancing with the Stars - my favourite show
Monday: Getting to walk and catch the bus to work and wear jeans because there are no students
Tuesday: Seeing my students and giving them their results back

And I thought I was a little bit psychic!

NOT SO :(! Hmmmmmm had a gain of 800grams and I thought I was doing so well!

It didn't get me down though because I wrote my list on weigh-in eve of my 3 goals I need to focus on this week.

Well, I've had two days at my focus list and I'd give myself a C+ so far. After weigh-in we ended up going to visit T's mum and went Ten Pin Bowling and saw Transformers. On the way hoe today, T and I saw Bruno. So, I have been having LOTS of fun! Taking that into account - I've blown out my points for the week but can catch them up as best as I can - at least I am tracking everything that goes into my mouth now. I haven't been drinking my goal of 2L of water each day but am getting close to it and am definitely drinking more than I normally do. When I choose the water over another type of drink, I think in my head of it as being an instant beauty treatment - for free!!! That has been making it a bit easier for me to get it down. I gave myself a D for my water intake though because so far, I am not reaching my goal of 2L a day. As far as variety of exercise, ten pin bowling (although not very strenuous) and an intense workout at the gym tonight have me very pleased with my progress on that factor - so I gave myself an A. As far as choosing coffee over treats, I have had a couple of treats with the movies being thrown into my last two days but I have been knocking back a number of treats so I have given myself a C for this factor. Overall, that makes up the C+.

I am so pleased we made the effort to go to the gym tonight. I think it is giving me the energy to type on here now even though I was tired - didn't get much sleep last night!

Tomorrow, I plan to go on my favourite walk. I am going to the movies again though (blush - movie pig here) with my sister and her kids - a happy day to come :). Then I have to fit in more marking, organising the house and planning for the new term. Off to iron now :)

I can feel a loss coming on

I haven't been an angel this past week but I have been doing better :). T even said to me yesterday when we had a whole day of "partying" at the shops while we were waiting for the car to get fixed that he noticed I was really strong and declining lots of naughty things - I hadn't told him that I was going to be stronger with points and things - he just noticed. So, even though I thought I could have done better, I must have improved if he (a typical male) noticed I was being healthier. He also said that I look thinner in the face!

I am just interested in going down on the scales - no matter how small that loss is. I really "think" it is going to go down - I am excited to see what weigh-in will bring for me tomorrow.

I have decided to do a plan for my future week on the eve of each weigh-in. I am going to make my plan for each future week entail 3 points/habits that I need to focus on especially in the coming week - tiny goals that I want to achieve that will help me to be a better loser.

Plan for Wed 8 July - Tues 14 July

1. Drink 2L of water each day.

2. When I feel like chocolate, cake or ice cream, have a cup of coffee or cup of tea instead (probably not the best weight loss habit but this is an alternative for me at this stage to get over the cravings)

3. Get a VARIETY of exercise:

• standard walk (Done - 12/7)
  
• stomach crunch DVD
  
• upper body weights session (Done - 9/7)
  
• lower body weights session (Done - 12/7)
  
• tough cardio session - gym

Even if I can't record a loss tomorrow, I feel that if I can focus my attention on continuing with the good things that I have been doing this week (tracking; trying to balance points; eating more regularly; selecting healthier options; limiting alcohol; drinking more -even no not enough - water; eating a good range of veges; exercising more than I did the previous week) and adding and achieving my list of 3 things for the coming week, I will be on the right path to having a healthier and probably lighter life!

On another note, after a day filled with a lot of tears over my perfectionist issues and feeling out of control in several areas of my life, I am going to bed feeling positive. I have been reading a lot of different weight-loss blogs over the last week. I am learning from those blogs that it is definitely possible to lose 15kg by the end of the year. I still don't fully accept that I can lose 15Kg by the end of the year but I think you have to believe that you can to make it possible.

When I think about other areas of my life - such as my work - when I face challenges, I have a relatively high degree of confidence that I can achieve whatever I have to achieve. For example, when I have an utterly untidy house and I have visitors arriving in a few hours, I always know that I can get the house perfect and it happens. Even though T will tell me that I can't get it all perfect in the time that I have, I put my head down and the house ends up being imaculate. When I have to set an exam that I have been putting off because it seems too difficult, when it comes to crunch time, I put my head down and give it my best shot and I punch out an exam that usually to date always gets good feedback from the Panel. I think I have to believe that I can lose a significant amount of weight too just as I believe I will succeed in other areas of my life.

Also, I am lucky that I have done it before. I can remember being at a Mother's Day lunch in 2000 and thinking next year (2001) I am going to be 21 and I don't want to be fat for my 21st. I think I was about 82Kg back then and wanted to get to 68Kg. Shortly after that, I joined Weight Watchers. I learned so much from Weight Watchers. What was significant for me though was that I had a plan that I didn't want to stand up in front of all of my friends and family at my 21st feeling worried about the way I looked. I had a destination - A significant goal. Then, I wrote a list of thoughts where I would focus on one of those thoughts each day to help me to make the right health decisions. Thoughts like my list on the right over there. Back then I had them flash up on my computer such as I knew a lady that was in hospital for blocked arteries and I visualized unhealthy arteries and it inspired me to eat good food. Back when I was 20, I also committed to going to the gym regularly. Every time I ate or drank, I thought about standing up in front of my guests at my 21st party - that helped me to make good food decisions. I was also very active with uni, work, friends, family and boyfriends. Having two serious relationships (not at the same time) around this period also made me make better food and exercise decisions - having someone else touch you and look at you kind of adds more pressure to make sure you are looking your best. I also took more time with how I looked in terms of my hair, make-up and clothes - I don't know if this was a good thing or not but I do feel like I have slipped a bit on my presentation at the moment. All of those actions got me to goal and I stood up at my 21st feeling hot and proud and have fabulous photos - today's goal photos!

All that was about 10 years ago. I can do all of those things again...Watch this happen...

20 year old behaviour 1: I had a plan. I had a destination - A significant goal.
29 year old behavour 1: Plan = I will lose 15Kg more in 2009. I will be at goal (68Kg - 29.4 Kg to go) by my 30th Birthday (mid 2010). I want to be free to try to get pregnant after my 30th birthday and being a healthy weight is important to me. Focussing on the ability to have a baby is significant for me. When I was 21, I had the vision of my 21st birthday party, standing in front of my friends and family. I think I need to plan a party where I will be on show and therefore can visualise that. Hmmm, let's see...I need to plan an activity that I will enjoy that has a pressure factor to be trim. For example, when I've been skiing, you have to tell the hire guys your weight and also you need to be fit and well -balanced to be able to get anywhere with the skis. I have to come up with something good - I'll think on this for a bit. At the moment, I am just thinking of having a weekend at the Gold Coast and going dancing at a trendy nightclub (are there any trendy ones at the GC anymore?). I used to LOVE dancing at clubs when I was 20 but now because I am so frumpy, I am a scardy cat to even go up to the dance floor AND everyone is so beautiful when I have been out on the Gold Coast recently so that kind of ads to the fear factor. That will do for now - I think I will come up with something better though. Oh it just came to me :) Scap that takcy idea! I am going to go to the Gold Coast and I am going to go with my friends and family (whoever wants to come) to swim with the dolphins. That has been a dream, is really special for my 30th birthday and you have to wear a wet suit in front of strangers!! PERFECT :)
20 year old behaviour 2: I would focus on one of those thoughts each day.
29 year old behaviour 2: Well I wrote my current thoughts about 2 days ago and I don't think I have thought about them again since. But, now that I have remembered to do this, I am going to make sure I do it tomorrow!
20 year old behaviour 3: I committed to going to the gym regularly.
29 year old behavioru 3: By planning out my week's exercise on the eve of weigh-in, I will be aided to stick to a regular exercise plan. I plan to tick off my list as I progress with exercise throughout the week.
20 year old behaviour 4: Every time I ate or drank, I thought about standing up in front of my guests at my 21st party.
29 year old behavour 4: Every time I eat or drink I am going to think about the opportunity of having and holding a healthy baby in my arms AND swimming with dolphins in front of strangers.
20 year old behaviour 5: I was also very active/busy with life.
29 year old behavour 5: I do feel lately that I do nothing but work, cook, wash, iron and clean. I am going to seek more fun and busy myself more. I am going to let stress and worries go so that I can free my mind up to read a good book, throw myself into my extra-curricular activities at school and do things that I wouldn't normally do such as helping out with the local bush care group. Part of this will involve being more organised - cleaning the house every day for example instead of getting bogged down with an eternity of cleaning to do on the weekend.
20 year old behaviour 6: I had someone else touch me and look at me which added more pressure to make sure I was looking my best.
29 year 0ld behaviour 6: I still have someone touching me ( T :> ) but we are comfy now and have been comfy with each other for ages. I need to think about making him proud of me when we are on show. I know that he is proud of me and he doesn't see my fat but I want him to have a healthy and fit wife instead of one that is depressed when we go out because I am so darn worried with how I look. Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to tell him how fat I feel when we go out!
20 year old behaviour 7: I took more time with how I looked.
29 year old behavour 7: Just because I am bigger than I should be doesn't mean I can't be gorgous! Think of those larger women that you know that always look so good with great hair, makeup and who are confident in their clothes and in their skin. Think...Jo, Sam, Judy etc. I can easily take the time to make sure my hair, nails, feet and makeup look good.

The facts of all this is that I have been living an unhealthy life. I need to make changes to live a better life. All of the actions that I have been taking in the last little while will make me a healthier person - I have no choice but to head in the right direction.

Life is so good right now and I am just under 30Kg overweigth :P!!

I am inspired!

I have been reading a whole lot of other very inspirational blogs and I have come to the realisation that I have been fooling myself to a great extent.

While I am happy that I have lost about 6Kg and kept it off this year so far, I think I am far more focused on how I can fit a naughty treat in to my day rather than sticking to points, pushing my exercise limits and drinking water. I have to focus on losing weight as it comes by doing those things rather than thinking that by a certain date I should be a certain weight and in effect, kind of just wishing time away while I sit on my butt and hope for the weight to magically remove itself.

I am going to give the plan my all for as long as I can and when I lose sight, I am going to jump back into it as quickly as I can. I have a destination - I want to be fit so that I can get pregnant with the healthiest body that I can create. It will be so worth it in the end.

Knowledge: Exercise required to burn off certain treats

I am planning to use this space to learn about how to lead a better, healthier life. Here is some interesting info...

For a person that weighs 100Kg (which is me!), it will take the indicated minutes of exercise to burn off the following treats.

2 scoops of ice cream......31 mins (walking 5Km/hr) or 13 mins (weight training)

plain donut......43 mins (walking 5Km/hr) or 18 mins (weight training)

lamington......29 mins (walking 5Km/hr) or 12 mins (weight training)

60g chocolate bar.....45 mins (walking 5Km/hour) or 19 mins (weight training)

med french fries.....56 mins (walking 5km/hour) or 24 mins (weight training)

Source: http://www.weightloss.com.au/articles/healthy-diets/food-treats-are-they-worth-it.html

I believe in the weight watchers method of points tracking but I think if I want to eat any of the above items in the future, I will calculate them as part of my points but I will also ensure I add in the extra exercise within that week to counteract these treats.

I'm feeling good/excited/impatient

I'm feeling good, excited and impatient about weigh-in on Wednesday. I can't wait! I think because I so badly want to reach my goal of 94 Kg and am mentally ready for that - who wouldn't be when you last weighed in at 97.4 Kg? I am also anticipating weigh-in day because I am back on track (I actually hate the saying "back on track" but I seem to have fallen into the WW lingo) with the points balancing - this is something that I have NEVER been able to do consistently but as I have started this bog, I am so far keeping up with the challenge of it and can see that it is possible to balance my points. On the other hand, I haven't pushed myself fitness-wise and I have been terrible with my water intake. These are things that I can fix though between NOW and Wednesday.

I don't want to be known as:
- a chubby wife
- a messy wife
- a procrastinator
- a crazy wife

I want to be known as:
- a hot wife
- an organised wife
- a doer
- a positive person

Hey, I am capable of doing all of those things on the second list - they are there for my taking, I just have to do them!!

Free food is not really free but I have the power to balance.

We scored a heap of free chicken from the butcher today - food that we wouldn't normally buy and cook. But, it was closing time and they gave it to us and said that it had to be cooked tonight or it wouldn't be okay. I think I should work out the points of what I ate today to see what I ate.

Let me see...

(I'm not yet in the right place to publicly write what I exactly eat for the world to see...maybe I should get to that stage quickly so it pushes me into gear)

Total points so far today: 24.5

Wow! I am amazed that I only went 1.5 over my points allowance. I can easily save that tomorrow. When I actually look through my list of food though (yes I have a list of what I ate for my eyes only), I didn't balance my food around all of the food groups appropriately.

I was planning to skip dinner but I may need to eat a bit later...I may pick from the following list if I get hungry:

1/2 orange 1/2 point
3 strawberries 1/2 point
coffee 1/2 point
popcorn 1 point
+ drink my water ---I've had NONE today

So, if I eat all of that after what I consider to be a fairly crappy day of healthy eating, I could be up to 27 points -- that's 4 points over my daily points allowance.

Now, I have Sunday, Monday and Tuesday left before weigh-in to balance that out. I will plan to have 22 points on Sunday, 22 points on Monday and 21 points on Tuesday and should be sweet.

Now, an issue I am struggling with at the moment is snoring. I snore every time I sleep...it embarrasses me if I sleep at other people's houses and I am concerned that I may have a sleep disorder as I seem to wake up gasping for air. I think I will make an appointment to get it checked out at the doctor. I also want to check out the doctor how long she thinks I can put off having children as T isn't ready yet but I want to make sure that I don't miss out.

Now, it will make me feel better tonight if I tidy the house, do some washing, catch up on the ironing and get a whole class of marking out of the way. :) x 4 and I can be extra :) if I also do some exercise - I think I might do some sit ups, push ups and squats tonight.

So far, this blog is helping me to stick to the track. Without it, I would have assumed that I was off the track and gone to town being off the track!

It's great having nothing naughty to eat in the cupboards and the fridge

I've just gotten home and am starving - T won't be home for another hour so shouldn't be spoiling my appetite before dinner anyway. I searched the cupboards, searched the fridge and have ended up eating a mandarin. And, I feel lovely for eating a mandarin!

Now I've gotta search the net for an exciting idea of how to cook the chicken for dinner!

It got better though. (My goals are in this one)

I wrote yesterday that I wasted the day but it did get better. I cooked a beautiful roast dinner and went for a lovely walk - in the dark! When I was walking and breathing in the fresh air, I thought to myself "why didn't I walk in the sunshine today?".

Lesson 1: Get the most you can out of each day.

I just added a photo to my profile. It is pretty much from exactly a year ago - our snow trip. At the time, I felt utterly disgusting about my weight. I was really unfit and didn't get the most out of my time there because I was overweight. My instructor in the photo was heaps older than me but heaps fitter. I remember him telling me that next time I go to the snow, I need to walk or ride a bicycle each day for two months before I go to get my legs ready. I thought at the time - "how easy to do that! why didn't I do that?" I was embarrassed that I hadn't had a regular exercise program in place - I haven't made much progress in a whole year though. Regular exercise - exercise everyday - here I come!

I have just read on the weightwatchers forum about a lady who has lost 30.5 Kg since October 2008. That achievement is so amazing and so good to read about and shocks me into thinking how I have let life pass me by. I haven't been as committed as I should have been. This amazing lady has lost on average 3.4 Kg a month. 3.4 Kg a month doesn't sound that amazing - don't get me wrong losing that is hard work and is amazing - but 3.4 Kg a month sounds doable. When you look back over 9 months though, those 3.4 Kg's add up to be an amazing 30 Kg - I think that's awesome. How did she do it? I can gather she tracked, exercised, drank water and picked herself up when she fell off track. She is an inspiration to me. I want to share in her success! I can track. I can exercise. I can drink water. I can put myself back on track when I fall off.

I don't seem to work well when I do this but I can't help myself...I'm going to dream...
What is possible by the end of July? 94Kg
This would mean I feel better and have budged my plateau. Reward = Sublime hair appointment.
What is possible by the end of August? 90.6Kg
This would mean I have lost a total of 11Kg! Reward = body wrap.
What is possible by the end of September? 87.2Kg
This would mean I am well out of the 90s and into the 80s!
What is possible by the end of October? 83.8Kg
This would mean I am about at my wedding weight and into my box of clothes!
What is possible by the end of November? 80.4Kg
This would mean I have lost over 20Kg!
What is possible by the end of December? 77Kg
This would mean I am veru happy with my body!
What is possible by the end of January? 73.6Kg
This would mean I am back to my young 20's!
What is possible by the end of February? 70.2Kg
This would mean I have lost over 30Kg!
What is possible by the end of March? Goal

The above plan would see me losing approximately 850grams a week. That is possible. How? Answer: Tracking, Exercising, Drinking Water and Getting Back on Track. I plan to do those things to lose 100 grams per day. That is not far off of 850 grams per week.

It can happen - It has happened to others - It will happen to me!

One of those days of nothingness

I wasted today. I have spent the whole day hiding from the things that I have to do. Yet, this just makes me feel crazy. I am on holidays so i guess it doesn't matter that I had a day of doing nothing and just lounging around the house but I did want to achieve some things today.

I am starting this blog and have gained a renewed focus of where I want to be and how I want to live my life - so I am glad I have at least done that today. I've never been a good blogger in the past. But, I want to have a blog that tracks my weight loss journey because I enjoy reading other people's weight loss blogs. I'm going to use this blog to keep track of what I am doing to lose weight. I am also going to use it as a tool to keep a record of things that I am learning about being healthy.

Yay I have a blog!