I am just interested in going down on the scales - no matter how small that loss is. I really "think" it is going to go down - I am excited to see what weigh-in will bring for me tomorrow.
I have decided to do a plan for my future week on the eve of each weigh-in. I am going to make my plan for each future week entail 3 points/habits that I need to focus on especially in the coming week - tiny goals that I want to achieve that will help me to be a better loser.
Plan for Wed 8 July - Tues 14 July
1. Drink 2L of water each day.
2. When I feel like chocolate, cake or ice cream, have a cup of coffee or cup of tea instead (probably not the best weight loss habit but this is an alternative for me at this stage to get over the cravings)
3. Get a VARIETY of exercise:
- standard walk (Done - 12/7)
- stomach crunch DVD
- upper body weights session (Done - 9/7)
- lower body weights session (Done - 12/7)
- tough cardio session - gym
On another note, after a day filled with a lot of tears over my perfectionist issues and feeling out of control in several areas of my life, I am going to bed feeling positive. I have been reading a lot of different weight-loss blogs over the last week. I am learning from those blogs that it is definitely possible to lose 15kg by the end of the year. I still don't fully accept that I can lose 15Kg by the end of the year but I think you have to believe that you can to make it possible.
When I think about other areas of my life - such as my work - when I face challenges, I have a relatively high degree of confidence that I can achieve whatever I have to achieve. For example, when I have an utterly untidy house and I have visitors arriving in a few hours, I always know that I can get the house perfect and it happens. Even though T will tell me that I can't get it all perfect in the time that I have, I put my head down and the house ends up being imaculate. When I have to set an exam that I have been putting off because it seems too difficult, when it comes to crunch time, I put my head down and give it my best shot and I punch out an exam that usually to date always gets good feedback from the Panel. I think I have to believe that I can lose a significant amount of weight too just as I believe I will succeed in other areas of my life.
Also, I am lucky that I have done it before. I can remember being at a Mother's Day lunch in 2000 and thinking next year (2001) I am going to be 21 and I don't want to be fat for my 21st. I think I was about 82Kg back then and wanted to get to 68Kg. Shortly after that, I joined Weight Watchers. I learned so much from Weight Watchers. What was significant for me though was that I had a plan that I didn't want to stand up in front of all of my friends and family at my 21st feeling worried about the way I looked. I had a destination - A significant goal. Then, I wrote a list of thoughts where I would focus on one of those thoughts each day to help me to make the right health decisions. Thoughts like my list on the right over there. Back then I had them flash up on my computer such as I knew a lady that was in hospital for blocked arteries and I visualized unhealthy arteries and it inspired me to eat good food. Back when I was 20, I also committed to going to the gym regularly. Every time I ate or drank, I thought about standing up in front of my guests at my 21st party - that helped me to make good food decisions. I was also very active with uni, work, friends, family and boyfriends. Having two serious relationships (not at the same time) around this period also made me make better food and exercise decisions - having someone else touch you and look at you kind of adds more pressure to make sure you are looking your best. I also took more time with how I looked in terms of my hair, make-up and clothes - I don't know if this was a good thing or not but I do feel like I have slipped a bit on my presentation at the moment. All of those actions got me to goal and I stood up at my 21st feeling hot and proud and have fabulous photos - today's goal photos!
All that was about 10 years ago. I can do all of those things again...Watch this happen...
20 year old behaviour 1: I had a plan. I had a destination - A significant goal.
29 year old behavour 1: Plan = I will lose 15Kg more in 2009. I will be at goal (68Kg - 29.4 Kg to go) by my 30th Birthday (mid 2010). I want to be free to try to get pregnant after my 30th birthday and being a healthy weight is important to me. Focussing on the ability to have a baby is significant for me. When I was 21, I had the vision of my 21st birthday party, standing in front of my friends and family. I think I need to plan a party where I will be on show and therefore can visualise that. Hmmm, let's see...I need to plan an activity that I will enjoy that has a pressure factor to be trim. For example, when I've been skiing, you have to tell the hire guys your weight and also you need to be fit and well -balanced to be able to get anywhere with the skis. I have to come up with something good - I'll think on this for a bit. At the moment, I am just thinking of having a weekend at the Gold Coast and going dancing at a trendy nightclub (are there any trendy ones at the GC anymore?). I used to LOVE dancing at clubs when I was 20 but now because I am so frumpy, I am a scardy cat to even go up to the dance floor AND everyone is so beautiful when I have been out on the Gold Coast recently so that kind of ads to the fear factor. That will do for now - I think I will come up with something better though. Oh it just came to me :) Scap that takcy idea! I am going to go to the Gold Coast and I am going to go with my friends and family (whoever wants to come) to swim with the dolphins. That has been a dream, is really special for my 30th birthday and you have to wear a wet suit in front of strangers!! PERFECT :)
20 year old behaviour 2: I would focus on one of those thoughts each day.
29 year old behaviour 2: Well I wrote my current thoughts about 2 days ago and I don't think I have thought about them again since. But, now that I have remembered to do this, I am going to make sure I do it tomorrow!
20 year old behaviour 3: I committed to going to the gym regularly.
29 year old behavioru 3: By planning out my week's exercise on the eve of weigh-in, I will be aided to stick to a regular exercise plan. I plan to tick off my list as I progress with exercise throughout the week.
20 year old behaviour 4: Every time I ate or drank, I thought about standing up in front of my guests at my 21st party.
29 year old behavour 4: Every time I eat or drink I am going to think about the opportunity of having and holding a healthy baby in my arms AND swimming with dolphins in front of strangers.
20 year old behaviour 5: I was also very active/busy with life.
29 year old behavour 5: I do feel lately that I do nothing but work, cook, wash, iron and clean. I am going to seek more fun and busy myself more. I am going to let stress and worries go so that I can free my mind up to read a good book, throw myself into my extra-curricular activities at school and do things that I wouldn't normally do such as helping out with the local bush care group. Part of this will involve being more organised - cleaning the house every day for example instead of getting bogged down with an eternity of cleaning to do on the weekend.
20 year old behaviour 6: I had someone else touch me and look at me which added more pressure to make sure I was looking my best.
29 year 0ld behaviour 6: I still have someone touching me ( T :> ) but we are comfy now and have been comfy with each other for ages. I need to think about making him proud of me when we are on show. I know that he is proud of me and he doesn't see my fat but I want him to have a healthy and fit wife instead of one that is depressed when we go out because I am so darn worried with how I look. Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to tell him how fat I feel when we go out!
20 year old behaviour 7: I took more time with how I looked.
29 year old behavour 7: Just because I am bigger than I should be doesn't mean I can't be gorgous! Think of those larger women that you know that always look so good with great hair, makeup and who are confident in their clothes and in their skin. Think...Jo, Sam, Judy etc. I can easily take the time to make sure my hair, nails, feet and makeup look good.
The facts of all this is that I have been living an unhealthy life. I need to make changes to live a better life. All of the actions that I have been taking in the last little while will make me a healthier person - I have no choice but to head in the right direction.
Life is so good right now and I am just under 30Kg overweigth :P!!
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