I really love my job

I often whinge about it. I feel sometimes that I am forever complaining. But, I have been having good days at work and love working with the kids in my classes. I am very blessed.

Am very excited - a friend just had a baby!

So many things to be happy about :)

Am still sick but am surprisingly so happy.

Had another sneaky, unofficial weigh-in tonight. Today, I am 2.5 Kg away from 10Kg lost.

Real weigh-in tomorrow...can't wait!

Happy :)

Even though I am overwhelmed with work and have a head cold I am so happy! The day started of so nicely...a beautiful walk with T and then a coffee. Since then, I have been plugging away at my work but I feel a lot less sick I think because I went for a walk in the sunshine.

I had a sneak peak at the scales and may have lost 0.5Kg this week. Will have to wait and see on weigh-in day though.

It means that I may be 3.1 Kg away from 10Kg lost and 4.7Kg away from 90Kg and wearing my new tops. Can't wait for that...will open up a whole new wardrobe!

I need to remind myself that all of those good little decisions will eventually add up to BIG results

Another focus...98cm

I love those ads on tv about waist size and how our lifestyles tend to let us pile on the kilograms without noticing.

So, I've just measured my tummy. I am 98cm...:O...WOW!

That means that I have a greatly increased risk of chronic disease.

In this regard, my first stepping stone is to get to 88cm to have just an increased risk of chronic disease.

Then, my healthy goal will be under 80cm.

While I am doing this, I might as well check-up my BMI...

My BMI was 36 (101.6Kg)

My current BMI is 34

On track but still ROUND

Have been feeling good. Making smarter choices with food and drinks. Have also been trying to limit the amount of stress that I feel too. Results have been showing on the scales too which has been making me feel great :).

I need to be careful not to get complacent though as I am feeling so good about myself. In the last few days, even though I have been eating well, I haven't been counting points. It is amazing too how good you feel when you lose a little bit of weight...was feeling so great about myself and T gave me a hug and mentioned in a non-harsh way how round I am! Luckily though, I am not feeling put down by that comment because I am round and that is why I have so much weight to still lose. But I am feeling positive because I am doing something about it. And, T is keen to go to the gym tonight...I can't wait to get back into regular gym sessions - I know that I will hate it when I am actually doing it though!

I need to remind myself that:

• I am only 3.6 Kg off from losing 10Kg!

• I am 5.2 Kg from being 90Kg!

• When I get to 90Kg, I am going to celebrate by wearing some new clothes!

• If I stick to my plan, I will be under 80Kg by the end of the year!

Things that I have done in the last week or so that I am proud of:

• I drank a lot more water on some days
• I chose fruit for snacks
• I ate a healthy lunch at work everyday

Now that next 3.6Kg that I am focused on losing at the moment, I am going to get cracking on getting organised for the next week!

My personal pep talk

I am not going to sit here and let myself get fatter. I am going to try so hard to do what I know - drink water, eat smaller portions, exercise etc to come out better on the other side.

I am also not going to hide from my mind and let work pile up on me because I am scared that I won't do it well enough. I will not let my housework pile up on me. I won't let my planning pile up on me.

I'm off to do what I have to get done.

:)

And, I'm going to enjoy life because I only get to live this day out once!

I can do this

Negative thoughts have been creeping back but I can't let those thoughts defeat me. I can get a healthy body back. I want that so much and it is so important that I do everything I can to get it.

Reflections from the last week:

• started out with letting old habits of alcohol and fried food dominate
• got back into long walks on the beach
• planned meals but didn't stick to the plans
• got frustrated (extremely frustrated actually) that everything in my life is not perfect; when I actually take a fresh look at things, it isn't all that bad and I am actually just a big sook AND I waste a lot of potentially productive time being a sook
• had two great days with tracking, water intake, moderation and exercise

What have I learned this week?

• to deal with the afternoon binges, I should try to save 6 or 7 points for that and then if I don't binge I can save 4 points
• I should wait half an hour between snacks to space them out more and really sea if I need them or not
• I need to remember that when I am binging, it is usually about 4 or 5 in the afternoon - the same time as when it is still sunny but starting to cool down - the perfect time for a walk!
• I need to try planning a free day into my week to be flexible for my lifestyle and personality and I need to monitor this against my statistics - if it doesn't work, I can always drop the free days
• exercising is just not about the scales - it makes you feel great instantly!
• once you start drinking water, it becomes easier to drink more and you don't get as tired (not sure if the improved energy is due to just the water intake or whether it is also due to exercise, holidays and vegetables)
  

Goals for Monday 12/4 - Sunday 18/4

Weight loss goals:

Water:

• Drink at least 1.5 litres of water each day.

Food:

• Track and balance points at least 3 days this week (*baby steps --> am working my way up to every day in the week).
• Have vitamin tablet each day this week.
  

Exercise: Get a variety of exercise - be active each day.

• Monday: walking all day at the theme park + sit ups and stretches
  
• Tuesday: beach in the morning, walking all day at the shops
• Wednesday: gym - upper body
• Thursday: 20 mins intense cardio + sit ups and stretches
• Friday: walk + gym - lower body
• Saturday: walk + sit ups and stretches
• Sunday: 20 mins intense cardio

Organisation goals:

• have a shiny and clutter-free sink before going to bed each night
• complete marking
• get booklets prepared and into photocopying
• do ironing off spare bed
• iron all work outfits for week 1

I feel deflated sometimes when I look at other people's amazing statistics on their weight loss blogs. I am just jealous of their hard work and amazing progress. I get jealous of their determination to keep going even when they have a gain or multiple gains. You can see in their stats that despite their set backs, the gradual losses over time do add up to a lot of weight gone from their bodies. I am going to start with a fresh lot of statistics and work on getting my numbers down.

The benefits come so quickly

I have always been so impatient with my healthy/weight loss attempts. However, I had missed how quickly the benefits come when you start being healthier. I am more alert, happier, have more energy. I am noticing the beauty of life more and more - the breeze in the trees, the birds outside etc. Maybe it is because I am on holidays at the moment - I am sure that has something to do with it but I know that drinking more water, cutting back on fats and sugar and eating more veges is having a great effect. Why didn't I learn this earlier or how come I had forgotten this?!

Feeling good about it this time

I am a typical weight loss broken record - losing weight; putting weight back on; starting again "today!". That is okay for me right now though because I am back on the right side of the track.

I have had the first really positive day in ages today and that feels awesome. I am over my points but at least I am starting to track again. I have limited a lot of food intake today and thought about what I am eating which is a great start.

I am struggling a bit at the moment as I just want to eat and fill right up. So, instead of whipping up all the nasty point-laden foods in the cupboard and fridge, I am on here researching how to curb overeating/binge eating.

P.S. Thanks so much LellyJ for your support - I appreciated your advice so much and it helped me to get through quite a down patch of my life :).