On track but still ROUND

Have been feeling good. Making smarter choices with food and drinks. Have also been trying to limit the amount of stress that I feel too. Results have been showing on the scales too which has been making me feel great :).

I need to be careful not to get complacent though as I am feeling so good about myself. In the last few days, even though I have been eating well, I haven't been counting points. It is amazing too how good you feel when you lose a little bit of weight...was feeling so great about myself and T gave me a hug and mentioned in a non-harsh way how round I am! Luckily though, I am not feeling put down by that comment because I am round and that is why I have so much weight to still lose. But I am feeling positive because I am doing something about it. And, T is keen to go to the gym tonight...I can't wait to get back into regular gym sessions - I know that I will hate it when I am actually doing it though!

I need to remind myself that:

• I am only 3.6 Kg off from losing 10Kg!

• I am 5.2 Kg from being 90Kg!

• When I get to 90Kg, I am going to celebrate by wearing some new clothes!

• If I stick to my plan, I will be under 80Kg by the end of the year!

Things that I have done in the last week or so that I am proud of:

• I drank a lot more water on some days
• I chose fruit for snacks
• I ate a healthy lunch at work everyday

Now that next 3.6Kg that I am focused on losing at the moment, I am going to get cracking on getting organised for the next week!

My personal pep talk

I am not going to sit here and let myself get fatter. I am going to try so hard to do what I know - drink water, eat smaller portions, exercise etc to come out better on the other side.

I am also not going to hide from my mind and let work pile up on me because I am scared that I won't do it well enough. I will not let my housework pile up on me. I won't let my planning pile up on me.

I'm off to do what I have to get done.

:)

And, I'm going to enjoy life because I only get to live this day out once!

I can do this

Negative thoughts have been creeping back but I can't let those thoughts defeat me. I can get a healthy body back. I want that so much and it is so important that I do everything I can to get it.

Reflections from the last week:

• started out with letting old habits of alcohol and fried food dominate
• got back into long walks on the beach
• planned meals but didn't stick to the plans
• got frustrated (extremely frustrated actually) that everything in my life is not perfect; when I actually take a fresh look at things, it isn't all that bad and I am actually just a big sook AND I waste a lot of potentially productive time being a sook
• had two great days with tracking, water intake, moderation and exercise

What have I learned this week?

• to deal with the afternoon binges, I should try to save 6 or 7 points for that and then if I don't binge I can save 4 points
• I should wait half an hour between snacks to space them out more and really sea if I need them or not
• I need to remember that when I am binging, it is usually about 4 or 5 in the afternoon - the same time as when it is still sunny but starting to cool down - the perfect time for a walk!
• I need to try planning a free day into my week to be flexible for my lifestyle and personality and I need to monitor this against my statistics - if it doesn't work, I can always drop the free days
• exercising is just not about the scales - it makes you feel great instantly!
• once you start drinking water, it becomes easier to drink more and you don't get as tired (not sure if the improved energy is due to just the water intake or whether it is also due to exercise, holidays and vegetables)
  

Goals for Monday 12/4 - Sunday 18/4

Weight loss goals:

Water:

• Drink at least 1.5 litres of water each day.

Food:

• Track and balance points at least 3 days this week (*baby steps --> am working my way up to every day in the week).
• Have vitamin tablet each day this week.
  

Exercise: Get a variety of exercise - be active each day.

• Monday: walking all day at the theme park + sit ups and stretches
  
• Tuesday: beach in the morning, walking all day at the shops
• Wednesday: gym - upper body
• Thursday: 20 mins intense cardio + sit ups and stretches
• Friday: walk + gym - lower body
• Saturday: walk + sit ups and stretches
• Sunday: 20 mins intense cardio

Organisation goals:

• have a shiny and clutter-free sink before going to bed each night
• complete marking
• get booklets prepared and into photocopying
• do ironing off spare bed
• iron all work outfits for week 1

I feel deflated sometimes when I look at other people's amazing statistics on their weight loss blogs. I am just jealous of their hard work and amazing progress. I get jealous of their determination to keep going even when they have a gain or multiple gains. You can see in their stats that despite their set backs, the gradual losses over time do add up to a lot of weight gone from their bodies. I am going to start with a fresh lot of statistics and work on getting my numbers down.

The benefits come so quickly

I have always been so impatient with my healthy/weight loss attempts. However, I had missed how quickly the benefits come when you start being healthier. I am more alert, happier, have more energy. I am noticing the beauty of life more and more - the breeze in the trees, the birds outside etc. Maybe it is because I am on holidays at the moment - I am sure that has something to do with it but I know that drinking more water, cutting back on fats and sugar and eating more veges is having a great effect. Why didn't I learn this earlier or how come I had forgotten this?!

Feeling good about it this time

I am a typical weight loss broken record - losing weight; putting weight back on; starting again "today!". That is okay for me right now though because I am back on the right side of the track.

I have had the first really positive day in ages today and that feels awesome. I am over my points but at least I am starting to track again. I have limited a lot of food intake today and thought about what I am eating which is a great start.

I am struggling a bit at the moment as I just want to eat and fill right up. So, instead of whipping up all the nasty point-laden foods in the cupboard and fridge, I am on here researching how to curb overeating/binge eating.

P.S. Thanks so much LellyJ for your support - I appreciated your advice so much and it helped me to get through quite a down patch of my life :).

Balanced Baby Steps Needed

I have been feeling really depressed lately and can't really put my finger on it.

In terms of this weight loss thing, I seem to be just standing still. I plan out what I want to do and where I want to get to and then I act on my plans for about a day and then throw everything out the window. I think setting goals about what I want to loose by when stresses me out and doesn't help me get to where I want to be.

Instead, I need to focus on my baby steps again...in all areas of my life. I get overwhelmed too easily and then become very oversensitive. I have been blessed with so many opportunities - I need to grab hold of those.

I think I have written about this before but I keep needing to remind myself - baby steps is what works. I also seem to achieve more success if I focus on goals without dates. So here are a new set of goals...I am just going to keep taking baby steps towards them and then celebrate them in a big way when I get there.

I am currently sitting on about 94.5Kg. Weigh-in days are Wednesdays.

Goal 1 = 93Kg. Reward = feeling comfortable in my new clothes.
I have a few new tops (grey one, white ones etc) that I was fitting well at about 93 Kg. Now that the weight has crept on a little again, they still fit but I feel somewhat uncomfortable in them.

Goal 2 = 88Kg. Reward = wearing my new plum top.
I also have new plum coloured top that I haven't worn out yet. I really love it and mum and T have told me it looks good on me but I feel really self conscious in it at the moment. My reward for dropping 7kg more will be to wear this to work for the first time. :)...little bit nervous about this one :)

******** Getting to 88Kg will be a great achievement for me ********* I need to remember this.

I also need to remember that no matter what weight you are, you can still be beautiful on the outside. I need to make sure I am getting enjoyment from my clothes, doing my hair and make-up nice and smiling more. I also need to remember to drink lots of water to make my skin healthy.

Goal 3: 85Kg. Reward = buying 2 more outfits for work.

Goal 4: 82Kg. Reward = weekend away/night on the town.
I weighed this weight when I got married...while I was overweight at this time and felt it, I still remember feeling a lot better than I do now. Reaching this weight will be well marked by a night of dancing.

Goal 5: 78Kg. Reward = going through that box of clothes I have had packed away for years because they haven't fitted for years and finding at least one outfit to wear!

Goal 6: 75Kg. Reward = feeling free to fall pregnant at any time.
Even though 75Kg isn't my goal weight - I personally feel if I got pregnant at this weight my body could deal with it.

Goal 7: 72Kg. Reward = holiday somewhere.

Goal 8: 68Kg. Reward = being at goal - feeling the amazing sense of achievement.

Now, goals 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 don't really matter right now. The only thing that matters at the moment is: Goal 1 = 93Kg. Reward = feeling comfortable in my new clothes.

Baby steps towards Goal 1:
1. Eating more regular and healthy meals and being conscious of portions.
2. Drinking at least 6 glasses of water each day and only one glass of any other drink.
3. Exercising for at least 20 minutes each day.

Distance from Goal 1 today = 1.5Kg.
Plan for today's baby steps = 1. From now, I am going to eat every 2 - 3 hours and make the portions 10% smaller. 2. I've already had a coffee for today so, for the rest of the day, it's nice cold water. 3. I need to walk the DVD to the video shop and I would also like to do my 10 min intense tummy toning workout. I also am getting of the Internet now to do a super clean of the house.

Frustration led me to FlyLady

I was so frustrated today with not getting everything done that I wanted to get done and feeling that all of the chores fall onto me and I typed into Google: +frustrated +husband +clutter +disorganised

Within a few clicks I have found flylady.com - it is the greatest. It is just like weightwatchers in a way but about organising your life and cleaning your house, keeping it clean, through baby steps! I am so excited about this!

Taking on what I have been learning, I am going to make baby steps and tonight before going to bed I am going to:
1. shine my sink
2. work on my spare room hot spot - 2 minutes
3. pick out my clothes for tomorrow and organise them before bed

Tomorrow morning before taking DH to work, I am going to:
1. get dressed and lace up my shoes
2. put out my hotspots - brown cupboard, dining table, brown chest - 2 minutes each
3. put a load of washing on and put in the drier

When I return tomorrow, I am going to:
1. shine my sink
2. get ready for mum and dad's visit
3. 5 minute spare room room rescue (day 1 of 27).

Before bed tomorrow night, I am going to:
1. keep my sink shining
2. lay out my clothes for the next day
3. put out my hotspots - brown cupboard, dining table, brown chest - 2 minutes each

Monday morning I will:
1. get dressed and lace up my shoes
2. put out my hotspots - brown cupboard, dining table, brown chest - 2 minutes each
3. put a load of washing on and put in the drier
4. shine my sink
Later on Monday I will:
4. 5 minute spare room room rescue (day 2 of 27).
5. come back to the website and review my before bed routine.

On Tuesday, I will be up to Day 10