I lose it on the weekends

I have become far too soft on myself on the weekends and let my food and exercise lapse. My goal for tomorrow therefore is to have a day of good tracking.

I have been thinking this afternoon about what I would do if I weighed 101.6Kg again. I really haven't lost that much weight in the time that I have been at this - because I haven't given it my 100% dedication all of the time. But, I am proud of getting rid of approximately 8Kg and am now ready to move even more kilos. Well, if I was back to weighing 101.6Kg my only options would be to gradually increase the exercise, track my points and replace the majority of bad liquids with water.

I don't succeed when I set my sights too high. I need to take it firstly one meal at a time. I am currently on 23 points. That means that each meal can roughly be about 5 - 6 points, accounting for some low-point snacks throughout the day. Then, I need to focus on getting a two meals right, then a day right, then a couple of days. While I am doing that, I will still also focus on getting to an additional 5Kg lost goal rather than getting to the ultimate goal of 68Kg. Another goal I want to achieve is getting to two weeks of perfectly balanced points. That goal I have perfect control over. I don't feel that I have total control over what happens on the scales in two weeks but I do have control over how I eat and exercise. So, a two week track is very attainable.

I know that I am a broken record and have done the following sort of list a thousand times but in order to learn how to do things properly, I need to keep practicing what is right I guess.

Attainable goals to tick off - things that I have control over...
1. Eat a 4-6 point breakfast.
2. Eat a 4-6 point breakfast and a 4-6 point lunch.
3. Eat a 4-6 point breakfast, a 4-6 point lunch and a 4-6 point dinner.
4. Eat a 23 point day!
5. Eat a 23 point day with 2L of water.
6. Have 2 x 23 point days + 2L of water.
7. Have a whole week of balanced points and lots of water.
8. Have two whole weeks of balanced points and lots of water.
9. Have two whole weeks of balanced points, lots of water and at least 2 good sessions of cardio.
10. Have two whole weeks of balanced points, lots of water, 2 good sessions of cardio and 2 good sessions of weights.

For my mental health, I also need to think about what I have to look forward to in life. Lately, I find I have been getting very down about my job and am worrying about the smallest things. When I reflect, I realise that I have been worrying about things that don't deserve to be worried about.

So, this week I have to look forward to:
- tomorrow is the third day of a long weekend. This means it has been easier to get more things done for me - things around the house, some chill out time, some time to stop and enjoy the winter sunshine. I also need to use some time to get cracking with my marking.
- two of my most beautiful friends got engaged! Yay :) I am so excited and am still buzzing from hearing the news.
- it is exam time at school so I have a few less classes to prepare for and that means that I have more opportunities to get my marking done BEFORE the holidays :) - that is of course, if I choose to get into it.
- I should be able to get home by 5.20 pm every school day this week :)!

Focus for tomorrow:

1. Eat a 4-6 point breakfast.

Middle weigh-in

Last weekend I decided to focus on a 5Kg goal instead of the big picture. As I weigh-in on Wednesdays, I didn't know what my starting weight and goal weight would be. But, now I know...on Wednesday I weighed 94.5Kg. So the goal is 89.5Kg.

Just had a mid-week/middle weigh-in of 93.6Kg...on the way to 89.5Kg already!!

Setting myself a 5Kg challenge.

I am sick of hovering between 96Kg and 93Kg. I have decided to concentrate on losing a 5Kg chunk. Even though I would not have said this at the time, getting from 101.6Kg down to 96Kg was kind of easy. Well, it was far from easy but I ate well, drank water and exercised and, it came off. I think I have allowed myself to be too chuffed at losing the weight that I have already lost. When I was over 100Kg I was constantly telling myself it is not okay to be over 100Kg. For some reason I seem to think that I am okay being 95-ish Kg though. But, when I actually think about it, 95Kg is no good for me. I am still roughly 25Kg from goal. I deeply don't want to be getting pregnant until I am 75Kg - that's 20Kg away. Which is scary and has been scary for too long because I think my mind is ready to be pregnant.

So, my challenge is to chip away at it in 5Kg lots. I am getting back to the gym tomorrow. I am really excited about that. My official 5Kg challenge weigh-in is Wednesday but I am going to start from tomorrow. Four lots of 5Kg challenges - that should be okay.

Mantra time: "It is not okay to be 95Kg. I need to lose weight to have a healthy pregnancy. I want to be healthy. It is not okay to be 95Kg. Under 90Kg...here I come."

Have been a bit sad lately

Nothing really to be sad about but I just don't balance my life properly. The good news is that the scales have gone down...slowly!

Anyway, life is for being happy.

Off to catch up on washing, ironing and marking. I've got three weeks to be super-busy so that I can have a holiday :)